Untitled.
12 August 1998
![[ ]](http://mbpix.mushroom.net/19980812y.png)
yesterday evening we finally got around to playing some four square, it's the first time i've played in three weeks, so i got some new blisters, but it was fun. and then when daniel took off, lou and i continued to play some speed two square. good exercise but a little tough on me. i came back in to find some email from erin who was trying to get in touch with me.
so after changing out of my sweaty clothes (and into my silly new pants) i went out and spent a couple hours with erin just talking and not talking and engaging in tree-seed warfare and such. a lot of not talking, actually, which sometimes is nice, and sometimes feels a little awkward, but i'd take not talking with erin over not talking by myself nine times out of ten.
so about 2am we parted ways to go to our own respective dreamlands, and driving home i had this repeating sensation, triggered probably by the release of some brain chemical in response to the recollection of recent memory. it starts as something of a knot in the stomach and it draws all awareness into it in a quick engulfing sort of way, like a timelapse of a black hole swallowing a nebula or something, and with it a short but deep breath and it pulls my eyes shut, and simultaneously there is a sensation of lightness traveling outward from that spot, again quickly, but like in timelapse, and it lingers (this would be the aforementioned chemical dispersing through the blood-stream, probably). it's triggered by remembering something from the last moments before parting, something like touching fingertips.
i felt this way after hanging out with erin in hartford and then driving up 91 to amherst. i felt this way after leaving sonali's and driving back towards home surrounded by cornfields and whatnot. and i felt this way last night driving home in the fog. i'm getting flashes of it now, talking about it.
bits and pieces in the 15 minutes before midnight...
lou got up and said, "i'm gonna go scream in the darkness for a while." that's pretty cool.
then he came in and mock stabbed me with a pen, and said that if some wacko came in with a knife i wouldn't be prepared. and i said no, but being stabbed might be kinda neat, assuming it missed all yr vital organs and all. and i had to kinda explain the concept of masochism to him.
then daniel comes out and kinda goes off, but doesn't really flip out, about how there's stuff that he asked me to do today that i haven't gotten to yet, but i told him i would before i left, and i will. granted i do suffer from complete lack of motivation and tend to miss deadlines and stuff, but if i say i'll get something done before i go home, i'll get it done before i go home.
and speaking of masochism, sonali paged me to say that if i didn't email her, she'd punch me. i will email you, really, i promise, but, well...
which leads me nicely into tomorrow's topic, something of a self-referential piece.
so after changing out of my sweaty clothes (and into my silly new pants) i went out and spent a couple hours with erin just talking and not talking and engaging in tree-seed warfare and such. a lot of not talking, actually, which sometimes is nice, and sometimes feels a little awkward, but i'd take not talking with erin over not talking by myself nine times out of ten.
so about 2am we parted ways to go to our own respective dreamlands, and driving home i had this repeating sensation, triggered probably by the release of some brain chemical in response to the recollection of recent memory. it starts as something of a knot in the stomach and it draws all awareness into it in a quick engulfing sort of way, like a timelapse of a black hole swallowing a nebula or something, and with it a short but deep breath and it pulls my eyes shut, and simultaneously there is a sensation of lightness traveling outward from that spot, again quickly, but like in timelapse, and it lingers (this would be the aforementioned chemical dispersing through the blood-stream, probably). it's triggered by remembering something from the last moments before parting, something like touching fingertips.
i felt this way after hanging out with erin in hartford and then driving up 91 to amherst. i felt this way after leaving sonali's and driving back towards home surrounded by cornfields and whatnot. and i felt this way last night driving home in the fog. i'm getting flashes of it now, talking about it.
bits and pieces in the 15 minutes before midnight...
lou got up and said, "i'm gonna go scream in the darkness for a while." that's pretty cool.
then he came in and mock stabbed me with a pen, and said that if some wacko came in with a knife i wouldn't be prepared. and i said no, but being stabbed might be kinda neat, assuming it missed all yr vital organs and all. and i had to kinda explain the concept of masochism to him.
then daniel comes out and kinda goes off, but doesn't really flip out, about how there's stuff that he asked me to do today that i haven't gotten to yet, but i told him i would before i left, and i will. granted i do suffer from complete lack of motivation and tend to miss deadlines and stuff, but if i say i'll get something done before i go home, i'll get it done before i go home.
and speaking of masochism, sonali paged me to say that if i didn't email her, she'd punch me. i will email you, really, i promise, but, well...
which leads me nicely into tomorrow's topic, something of a self-referential piece.