Untitled.
30 August 1998
![[ ]](http://mbpix.mushroom.net/19980830y.png)
dreams are of course not as sequential as our waking lives tend to be, but i'm going to try to weave last night's into some sort of continuous narrative.
as it started out, i was walking past a house in which there was a party going on. ned and daniel were trying to get into the house (they may have lived there) without being seen by the party-goers. i suggested they climb in a second story window, but they were both wearing dresses and thought that might make it a little difficult to climb up the outside of the building. they ended up climbing through a window at about one and a half stories to a landing on the stairs.
after a while, i followed them through the window (i may have lived in the house at this point, and i don't think that they did any longer). i walked up to the top of the stairs where there was a sign reading "residents only" or something similar, and i went in and to a room that was quite a bit like one of the rooms in east hall at nmh.
the phone was ringing, and i answered it, and i don't remember who the person on the other end asked for, but i knew they were talking about sonali, and so i went in search of her. the building had become more like east hall, and i looked in a number of rooms that i thought she might be in, keeping the person on the phone informed of my progress. after looking just about everywhere and not finding her, they hung up and i went back to my room.
i had gone back to nmh for another year (as happens fairly frequently in my dreams), but i was taking all a.p. courses so that i would get college credit for them. i spent some time wandering through the dorm, which hadn't changed much, and ran into eric wells, and we talked about the rooms we were in freshman year.
back in my room, i began reading a letter from someone named jo(h)n from my past. either they had seen their name on my website, or i had written to them. (i don't think it was john blackmer, could've been jon feldman or john moss, or either of the jo(h)ns from my china trip, or some amalgamation, as often happens in dreams.) along with this letter was another one from a girl who worked for the same company, some sort of new media firm, of course. i couldn't really get my mind to pay attention to the letter, because i was beginning to wake up, but i knew if i woke up, i wouldn't be able to finish it.
at some point i wandered outdoors, and from outside the dorm was just a small house in the suburbs. it was late evening, in the summer, and some of the employees from manna dew were getting into a car and driving off. i got into my car and drove around the block, where there were a number of one way streets that i found rather counter-intuitive, and then pulled into a parking spot that was next to a monolithic building that was on the lot where the dorm had been.
there was an underground parking garage for a local ymca or something. there was a sign about free parking if you were under 18. inside, there was this lounge, kinda like in an airport, and even though we regularly spent our brakes there (we worked a dozen or so stories up, but i don't know where, or who "we" were), we weren't supposed to, so we were planning some sort of demonstration. a sit in protest or something.
erin and i had talked about doing something yesterday, because she's leaving for school today and i'm leaving for texas in a few weeks, but we hadn't made any formal plans, and you know how i am about phones, so a little after 7 last night, sam and i decided to go for japanese food. of course erin called while i was out, and then wasn't home when i got back, but she did call me from a coffee house at about 930 and i went and met her and rachel there, and then we drove back to rachel's house for a while, and then erin and i went and played on a big playground map of the united states under the stars.
i traced my trips across country, and she said look, massachusetts and texas aren't all that far apart. and really they were only about ten feet apart. when she asked me where exactly in texas i would be living, i felt really sad for a bit, and i kinda sensed it coming from her too. so we talked about other trips, the past instead of the future. and acted silly. and then sat down in the middle of the country.
after a while she said that i looked sad, and i told her that i wasn't unhappy, it's just that my default expression tends towards that. and she said it was more of indifference. and if there was anything i wasn't feeling it was indifferent, so i put may arm around her and pulled her closer and she said she'd miss me.
we sat like that for a while, talking and not talking, and i thought to myself that the feelings i have for erin are really rather similar to the feelings that i have for sonali, whatever those feelings are, exactly. i feel terribly lucky. it's not enough that i have a wonderful, fun, exciting woman in my life that i love spending time with, that i love just being with. i've got two. but at the same time, it's all awfully confusing. as i wrote in the alternate text for the 16th, "that's not how faerie tales work."
as it started out, i was walking past a house in which there was a party going on. ned and daniel were trying to get into the house (they may have lived there) without being seen by the party-goers. i suggested they climb in a second story window, but they were both wearing dresses and thought that might make it a little difficult to climb up the outside of the building. they ended up climbing through a window at about one and a half stories to a landing on the stairs.
after a while, i followed them through the window (i may have lived in the house at this point, and i don't think that they did any longer). i walked up to the top of the stairs where there was a sign reading "residents only" or something similar, and i went in and to a room that was quite a bit like one of the rooms in east hall at nmh.
the phone was ringing, and i answered it, and i don't remember who the person on the other end asked for, but i knew they were talking about sonali, and so i went in search of her. the building had become more like east hall, and i looked in a number of rooms that i thought she might be in, keeping the person on the phone informed of my progress. after looking just about everywhere and not finding her, they hung up and i went back to my room.
i had gone back to nmh for another year (as happens fairly frequently in my dreams), but i was taking all a.p. courses so that i would get college credit for them. i spent some time wandering through the dorm, which hadn't changed much, and ran into eric wells, and we talked about the rooms we were in freshman year.
back in my room, i began reading a letter from someone named jo(h)n from my past. either they had seen their name on my website, or i had written to them. (i don't think it was john blackmer, could've been jon feldman or john moss, or either of the jo(h)ns from my china trip, or some amalgamation, as often happens in dreams.) along with this letter was another one from a girl who worked for the same company, some sort of new media firm, of course. i couldn't really get my mind to pay attention to the letter, because i was beginning to wake up, but i knew if i woke up, i wouldn't be able to finish it.
at some point i wandered outdoors, and from outside the dorm was just a small house in the suburbs. it was late evening, in the summer, and some of the employees from manna dew were getting into a car and driving off. i got into my car and drove around the block, where there were a number of one way streets that i found rather counter-intuitive, and then pulled into a parking spot that was next to a monolithic building that was on the lot where the dorm had been.
there was an underground parking garage for a local ymca or something. there was a sign about free parking if you were under 18. inside, there was this lounge, kinda like in an airport, and even though we regularly spent our brakes there (we worked a dozen or so stories up, but i don't know where, or who "we" were), we weren't supposed to, so we were planning some sort of demonstration. a sit in protest or something.
erin and i had talked about doing something yesterday, because she's leaving for school today and i'm leaving for texas in a few weeks, but we hadn't made any formal plans, and you know how i am about phones, so a little after 7 last night, sam and i decided to go for japanese food. of course erin called while i was out, and then wasn't home when i got back, but she did call me from a coffee house at about 930 and i went and met her and rachel there, and then we drove back to rachel's house for a while, and then erin and i went and played on a big playground map of the united states under the stars.
i traced my trips across country, and she said look, massachusetts and texas aren't all that far apart. and really they were only about ten feet apart. when she asked me where exactly in texas i would be living, i felt really sad for a bit, and i kinda sensed it coming from her too. so we talked about other trips, the past instead of the future. and acted silly. and then sat down in the middle of the country.
after a while she said that i looked sad, and i told her that i wasn't unhappy, it's just that my default expression tends towards that. and she said it was more of indifference. and if there was anything i wasn't feeling it was indifferent, so i put may arm around her and pulled her closer and she said she'd miss me.
we sat like that for a while, talking and not talking, and i thought to myself that the feelings i have for erin are really rather similar to the feelings that i have for sonali, whatever those feelings are, exactly. i feel terribly lucky. it's not enough that i have a wonderful, fun, exciting woman in my life that i love spending time with, that i love just being with. i've got two. but at the same time, it's all awfully confusing. as i wrote in the alternate text for the 16th, "that's not how faerie tales work."