magicbeans. nothing if not awkward.

i got email from sonali last night. she said that she has signed a lease and as of january will have her own apartment and that i should come visit sometime. i'd like to, and there's a lot of people that i'd like to visit, but in a way i feel like i have to stay within the cocoon of this city for the time that i'm going to be here. that's the word i used, cocoon. i hadn't thought about the metaphor implied by that until i had typed it. but it encompasses the way i feel. that something within me may be changing. metamorphosing.

of course in writing this, i had an image of another metaphor. that this feeling of needing to stay here for some predestined length of time is the feeling of needing to serve out my sentence. for what exactly, i'm not sure.