Untitled.
21 April 1999
![[ ]](http://mbpix.mushroom.net/19990421y.png)
dreams:
i was in a club with er!n, george, my brother sam, and gale. (i don't know why gale was there.) i think the cowboy junkies were going to be playing. er!n asked if she could smoke, and someone said that there was a separate smoking room, so she got up to look for it. i followed after a while, and said 'so you started smoking?' she shrugged and pulled out a pack of cloves. i said 'you realize i'll prolly have to smoke one with you.' but i went back to our table looking for something to eat.
george handed me a menu, and i remarked on the fact that they were new, but i couldn't keep my focus long enough to figure out what was on it. after a while er!n came out with a lit cigarette and was asking strangers if they wanted to join her in the smoking room, which was empty. not being able to read the menu, i got up and joined her, as did a number of other people, including sam.
the room was well lit, with couches, like someone's living room. i sat down and cuddled with er!n. she kinda mock threatened to burn me with her cigarette. after a while, kinda out of the blue, she said 'i don't know how to say this, but i proposed to chuck, so we really shouldn't be doing this.' i wasn't really sure who chuck was, but i got up, silently, and walked out not really sure if i should be feeling happy for her, or hurt, or what. there was another room like the smoking room, but it was empty except for a girl lying on the floor. i paced for a while and then sat down.
i have no idea what the majority of that dream meant. er!n said it was "uh ... interesting". she's in boston now. i have an address and phone number, but she said she won't be able to read email too regularly.
after getting up this morning i practised guitar for a bit (tried to play "danny boy" which we were going to work on in class) to no avail. then studied a bit for my test in acting. had some corn chip crumbs and mint chocolate chip fake ice cream for breakfast/lunch.
guitar class wasn't bad, but i still can't do this melody/playing of notes thing. had, as i mentioned, a test in acting. really the first actual test that i've had in a couple years. since astronomy, summer 1997, i think. i'm sure i did well enough on it. a section of match the term to its meaning, which was way simple. a section of true or false, which all seemed to be true, something of a trick question. and a bunch of short answers that i prolly put too much effort into answering, but that's better than too little.
after class i attended a lecture by a philosophy professor on why he thinks the existence of god can be proven. i got extra credit for going, which i really can use, but i was interested anyway. he made a few good points, but i don't completely agree with his conclusions. this is in part, i'm sure, because he's coming from the angle of roman catholicism. as a philosopher, he is aware of his bias, but some of his talk, especially when responding to questions at the end, bordered on theology. i spent the car ride home "thinking deep thoughts" though, so just in that it was worth it.
in sad news, i received word today that rhanda, member of the household that i lived with in california, passed away yesterday. i didn't get terribly close to anyone out there, but probably most so to her. she is in my thoughts tonight.
i was in a club with er!n, george, my brother sam, and gale. (i don't know why gale was there.) i think the cowboy junkies were going to be playing. er!n asked if she could smoke, and someone said that there was a separate smoking room, so she got up to look for it. i followed after a while, and said 'so you started smoking?' she shrugged and pulled out a pack of cloves. i said 'you realize i'll prolly have to smoke one with you.' but i went back to our table looking for something to eat.
george handed me a menu, and i remarked on the fact that they were new, but i couldn't keep my focus long enough to figure out what was on it. after a while er!n came out with a lit cigarette and was asking strangers if they wanted to join her in the smoking room, which was empty. not being able to read the menu, i got up and joined her, as did a number of other people, including sam.
the room was well lit, with couches, like someone's living room. i sat down and cuddled with er!n. she kinda mock threatened to burn me with her cigarette. after a while, kinda out of the blue, she said 'i don't know how to say this, but i proposed to chuck, so we really shouldn't be doing this.' i wasn't really sure who chuck was, but i got up, silently, and walked out not really sure if i should be feeling happy for her, or hurt, or what. there was another room like the smoking room, but it was empty except for a girl lying on the floor. i paced for a while and then sat down.
i have no idea what the majority of that dream meant. er!n said it was "uh ... interesting". she's in boston now. i have an address and phone number, but she said she won't be able to read email too regularly.
after getting up this morning i practised guitar for a bit (tried to play "danny boy" which we were going to work on in class) to no avail. then studied a bit for my test in acting. had some corn chip crumbs and mint chocolate chip fake ice cream for breakfast/lunch.
guitar class wasn't bad, but i still can't do this melody/playing of notes thing. had, as i mentioned, a test in acting. really the first actual test that i've had in a couple years. since astronomy, summer 1997, i think. i'm sure i did well enough on it. a section of match the term to its meaning, which was way simple. a section of true or false, which all seemed to be true, something of a trick question. and a bunch of short answers that i prolly put too much effort into answering, but that's better than too little.
after class i attended a lecture by a philosophy professor on why he thinks the existence of god can be proven. i got extra credit for going, which i really can use, but i was interested anyway. he made a few good points, but i don't completely agree with his conclusions. this is in part, i'm sure, because he's coming from the angle of roman catholicism. as a philosopher, he is aware of his bias, but some of his talk, especially when responding to questions at the end, bordered on theology. i spent the car ride home "thinking deep thoughts" though, so just in that it was worth it.
in sad news, i received word today that rhanda, member of the household that i lived with in california, passed away yesterday. i didn't get terribly close to anyone out there, but probably most so to her. she is in my thoughts tonight.