magicbeans. nothing if not awkward.

so. yesterday: finally came to some conclusions about the building(s) aspect of my design project. bought some new materials and started doing some important drawings. actually had a fairly long desk-crit, since it was the last. peter kinda prefaced it with "i'm going to have to give you a hard time.." but he didn't really. i think partly 'cause i've already told myself most of the critical things he could say. but we talked about design process and some other useful stuff.

had dinner, then went back to do my drawing homework. i had been telling myself that i wouldn't leave it until thursday night. but.

we also worked on the extra credit project for materials and methods. lightweight bridge. i was originally planning on doing it myself, then with just natasza from my previous projects. and then our team just kinda ballooned. there was no organization. we were working on three different concepts simultaneously with no real idea if we were even still one team. ended up with a prototype and the intention to finish it in the morning.

left the studio about three, my drawing still far from done.

had a hard time getting up this morning. i've gotten less than five hours of sleep for each of the last four nights. managed to get to class on time, but it was a struggle to keep awake. of course only half the class was there. and half of those that were were flat out asleep at their desks. but it was our last lecture, so i had to at least try to pay attention.

then more work on the bridge. molly, natasza, and me. the rest of our team hadn't made it to class. they did all manage to show up for the presentation. went off without a hitch. we certainly weren't the lightest bridge, but it was worth three bonus points.

and then more drawing, like forty-five minutes to come to some completed state. it didn't end up all that impressive. but it managed to be different than everything else on the wall during the crit. without getting totally wacky, which one of the other two sections was allowed to do. which on one hand would have been fun, but on the other learning standard drafting is really useful too.

came home after class and napped for an hour and a half or so. then dinner (i never made it to lunch today). and by seven back to the studio and my project. worked until two. i think i got a good deal accomplished, but as usual i wish i had been here a week or two ago.

got email from er!n tonight. i had dropped her a note a while ago since we hadn't talked in forever. i told her that i had been thinking about calling, but it's been non-stop studio since then. she's got a boyfriend, which is a little weird, but we were certainly over. never officially (well, we were before i did the summer program at risd, but then we weren't), but i'm here with my new crushes and we haven't talked for a couple of months.

after seeing jen at dinner i had been kinda thinking that i really should just flat out say: it's kinda silly, but i've had this on/off crush on you for a while and i just needed to say it out loud. open up, move on. and who knows. but probably nothing would happen except that dinners might be awkward for a little while.

hearing from er!n that she has a boyfriend reinforced that a bit. made me feel that i should clear out some of these feelings. spring cleaning in my heart, so to speak. it would coincide nicely with cleaning out my studio space. i'm sure in both cases there are things that would/will turn up that i had kinda forgotten about and will either get tossed or filed away somewhere special. (or more likely just stacked back into a pile in a new orientation. of course i'm not sure how accurate this metaphor is continuing to be.)

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btw, today's pix were created a couple of days ago, and were originally meant as a companion pair to the two from the sixth.