magicbeans. nothing if not awkward.

i want to make movies. there was a cinematic aspect to my dreams this morning. and i capped the day off by watching the independent film channel. towards the middle of the day, i clicked on the tv to an old episode of northern exposure that dealt mainly with ed's struggle to be a film maker. then watched part of a skater movie that sam was watching with his friends, and that was vaguely inspiring.

it occurred to me that i should be spending my break working on my screenplay. someone at risd told me to do that. cybèle maybe?

i've had the plot bouncing around in my head for almost two years now. i think the last time i really put any thought into it was on the bus trip back from the transfer student orientation in boston over the summer. i told the story to someone. helen or jen. it think it was jen. that may have been the start of things with her. which also kinda just percolated in the back of my mind for a while as i followed other paths.

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i lost focus after the last paragraph. i got distracted by a train of thought that lead me back to fuzzy nmh chronology. trying to remember which things happened during what years of high school. and other than some fidgeting with my hands, i lost pretty much all awareness of the present.

might be time for bed.