magicbeans. nothing if not awkward.

woke up with bits of memories of a dream about another life in another world that almost seemed more real than this one. walking to the studio i followed a girl with a purple hat for a few blocks who triggered more of these memories.

spent the morning writing my ehp application essay.

my mom called. she read my entry from thursday and wanted to see how i was doing. i've gotten a few emails about that entry too. and a link from louk.

the one thing that dan did do was to give me a very specific list of things to work on for tuesday's crit. and i think breaking stuff down into steps is a good practise. little goals, each with its own time-frame. and i haven't exactly been sticking to the time-frame i set out, but i guess i'm doing okay. at least i'm getting something done.

finished up another drawing before shopping and sushi.

the sushi night thing was a little tough for me tonight though. we had more guests than we've had in a while, six, plus the three of us. and it didn't seem like we really had enough food. and given the stress i've been feeling and my lack of sleep and all that, i just had a hard time dealing.

and i could tell that cybèle noticed the way that i was feeling about it all. and so when she was leaving she tried to convince me to go as well, because i had said earlier that i really needed to go back to studio. and it was nice that she cared, but at the same time i didn't really want anyone to care too much, or maybe i just felt like i was being driven out of my own house, r i don't know. it was just all kind of uncomfortable for some reason.