magicbeans. nothing if not awkward.

dreamt that i was subletting a room in an apartment for a couple of weeks. there was a blind girl living in one of the other rooms who i hadn't met before i moved in. i came home one day and she was sitting on the couch in the living room. we were both a little surprised at the presence of another person, but we started talking. and she was flirting and asked, coyly, "have you ever been involved with a married woman?"

"it's not that," i said. "it' because i'm involved."

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and email from sonali about how she's madly in love and how wonderful everything is. and that's really, really great, but i want things to be that wonderful too, you know? and i really do enjoy being with stef but i don't feel all the sorts of things that sonali's describing. and maybe it's because this summer is all just very provisional, this apartment that's not really my home, and temporary summer jobs that take up all our time, and then rome.

and maybe it's other things.

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came across incursion publishing today. a site that reviews experimental and electronic and minimalist music. a dozen or so reviews every two weeks. all kinds of cool new music that i wish i could afford to check out.

and i want to make experimental electronic music too. maybe it's just one of my passing interests. maybe i'll be totally into something else next week. but this certainly isn't the first time i've found myself interested in music, and not even experimental music, electronic and otherwise. so maybe there is something more to it.

i've started thinking about maybe looking into getting a grad degree in computer music or something. and maybe i could combine that with experimental architecture somehow, or maybe i could take a year or a year and a half off of architecture to pursue something else. and then intern in an architecture firm or stay in school for a grad degree in architecture as well.

but like i say when grad school comes up at all, i've still got two years. and i've never really planned more than a year or so ahead with any precision.

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came home from work and chris.k was talking about going to the drive-in with christian and dave.z and a handful of other assorted people. i wanted to eat dinner, but don't think that i've ever been to a drive-in before, and so figured i should go.

according to dave.z they were supposed to be playing jurassic park iii although that turned out to the early show, and we ended up seeing the fast and the furious. which was probably a better movie, but still pretty bad. i couldn't help feeling that it could have been good. and wanting to be enjoying it. but it just didn't make any sense. it jumped from scene to scene with no real understanding of how the transitions happened or what was motivating the characters other than plot constraints. some nice film work though, and worth my $3 share of $15 per car.