magicbeans. nothing if not awkward.

so work stress is starting to catch up with me. i made a prototype book of the first eleven dot photos this morning (it was raining so i wasn't out drawing dots), and then figured out how much working time i would need to spend in the next two weeks (final crits start a fortnight from yesterday) to make one hundred little books. along with the rest of the actual dot making, i think i would have to put in about ten hours of work every day. which is basically infeasible.

i think this realization broke something in my head, because i only finished half of today's dots. after the rain and art history (which doesn't count for much now since we've already had our exam) i went to a gallery exhibition with irene and laura, ostensibly to do some dots in that part of town (up by termini). but as we were leaving it looked like rain again, and i figured i should come most of the way back with them and just do all fifty dots in the proximity of piazza venezia. which i did, but i only finished twenty-five (three locations) before it got too dark to shoot any more photos.

i was also feeling overwhelmed at this point. i think the key to doing a good job is to get out early, and work in the morning. before lunch my brain hasn't yet been squashed by the weight of the day.

and of course tomorrow we have a whole day field trip. some interesting stuff, hopefully, but it will make my scheduled fifty dots difficult, to say nothing of the twenty-five that i now need to make up.

on top of which i'm still working on paintings. on top of which i still have a few other projects that i would at least like to make a small stab at. on top of which i have to start writing my art history paper, for which i don't yet have a clear idea of what i even want to write about. so yeah, the stress is starting to get to me. i've had heartburn every night for the last four nights. headaches. leg cramps.

i'm not complaining. for the most part i'm enjoying my work. i'm just now coming to the realization of exactly how much pressure i'm feeling. and of course there's still..