magicbeans. nothing if not awkward.

Yesterday at dinner Olivia invited me to the party that she was having tonight. And got the impression that I wasn't really planning on coming. I told Marie on the subway ride home that I never really had any intention of not going. It's just that I'm difficult. Usually unintentionally so. And sometimes difficult equates to cute or mysterious, but oftentimes it just makes me feel like I'm kind of being an asshole.

But anyway, in trying to convince me to come Olivia says, 'There will be all sorts of girls there. I have friends who are twins. Actually, I think that you and Sabrina would be a good match.' And I think that something clicked in her head and she decided that she was going to try and set me up. Also, I think to encourage my attendance, she called Chris (or Francis, as she's been calling him) to invite him separately from me. 'I don't really care if you come,' she told me, 'because Francis is going to come and be my friend.'

So after dinner tonight, vegetarian Indian near 26th and Lex, Chris and I waked the 75 blocks up to Olivia's house. She was off running an errand when we arrived, and when she got back she told me that Sabrina wasn't coming. But that didn't stop me from drinking and meeting some of her other friends.

At one point I found myself on the roof, feeling a weird mix of contentment and emptiness in this city, and internally bemoaning the lack of stars in the New York night sky. When I came back down Chris had left, something about feeling outnumbered by the lesbians at the party, but I think mostly just uncomfortable around people he didn't know.

I stayed and got another beer. Earlier in the day I had told Marie and Rob that I expected them both to get drunk, as I haven't seen either of them drunk in the four months that I've lived with them. And yes, I know that I hardly drank at all before I turned 21, but they're in college, living in NYC. I was a college dropout living in rural Connecticut.

Marie did get kind of drunk. Rob didn't at all. At one point, very late in the proceedings, the three of us were sitting on a couch in the living room and Marie turned to Rob and bit him. Which scared him away. So she turned and bit me. And as it did not scare me away, Olivia also bit me.

Eventually the sun came up and I decided that I needed to get home, take a shower, and try to get a few hours of sleep in my own bed. Rob had already passed out in the other room, and Marie was planning on staying and sleeping there too.