magicbeans. nothing if not awkward.

Drinks after work for three birthdays.

At the second or third bar, after the girl whom I have a big, stupid (she's married) crush on got in a cab and left, after midnight, when it was officially Chris.S's birthday, I said, 'Happy birthday, you're now officially as old as me.' To which he said something, and I responded, 'Well, you'll always be two months younger.'

'Yeah,' he said. 'And three years ahead.' And I don't think he really meant to insult me, but there is some truth to it, and it kind of stung a little bit. There's a whole group of people in the office who hit 30 this spring and summer, and out of all of them, I sometimes feel like I'm the lest accomplished. (Professionally, socially, economically..) Which really shouldn't matter to me, even if it is true, which is debatably, and most of the time it doesn't, but occasionally there's that little voice telling me that I don't have a heck of a lot to show for the last three decades.

So I kept drinking. A practise with a long history for drowning out little voices.