magicbeans. nothing if not awkward.

A terribly uncomfortable night of sleep. I reveled in the car alarms that intermittently go off at night because it gave me something to focus my attention on other than the fact that I felt the total opposite of at home in my own skin. Slept fitfully, if at all, until the sun was about coming up, then dozed off for longer chunks of time until 11. Dreamt that Sam was playing in a rock band with Thurston Moore and the band's outfit consisted of shirts just like my favourite orange striped one with stitched blue dots, which I was also wearing, but was not in the band. And then Sam again, a few years older, had invested in some apartments, one of which was a giant open loft space in the first floor of a modern-esque building with a breathtaking view out over autumn coloured hills.

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When I left the house, for brunch at Life Cafe, I checked the weather to make sure I was layered appropriately, and although it was sunny and blue skied out, the forecast said snow.

Cora had asked last night if Chris and I were planning on getting brunch this morning, but apparently she was painting when he called to invite her, so it was just the two of us as usual.

The snow had started by the time we were done. We walked around for a bit in it, over to Digital Society to say hello to Marie (she asked if maybe I would want to start working there, since I seem to drop by all the time), and she was amazed that I hadn't known that it was going to snow. 'It's supposed to be a blizzard. 8-12 inches. It's been the big story of the last few days.'

Some more walking, and Chris and I split off to our respective homes. 'I'll try not to fall asleep,' he told me. Caitlin.K's birthday party is tonight, and was supposed to be on the Lower East Side, but because of the snow he thought that it might not leave Park Slope. He was in touch through Julia, and I through him.

I watched the last four episodes of Arrested Development. It's a shame that it was canceled, but the third season really wasn't as strong as the first two. And Battlestar Galactica. 'What?' I asked the screen. 'They killed off one of my favourite characters? Maybe my favourite character.' I looked up the actor on IMDB, for any sort of insight, and found out that he and I share a birthday, so that could explain the affinity.

Then waited to hear from Chris. Called and got his voicemail a few times. 'I bet he fell asleep.' Thought about calling Julia, or even Caitlin, but in the end, between the fear of phones, the trying to get Chesterfield to take her antibiotics, and the fact that although I haven't seen most of the people who might be at this party in at least a month, I'm not really all that much a fan of noisy bars, I can't really follow a conversation when there's a lot of ambient noise, and I'm unlikely to get into dancing unless I've already got a couple of drinks in me, and I was a good hour away from wherever I might be headed, and then an hour+ away from home when it was time to come back.

In other words, while there was certainly a part of me that felt like going out and being social, especially in a snow storm, was a good idea, it was the rest of me that got the upper hand.