magicbeans. nothing if not awkward.

Once upon a time I was very good at grocery shopping. From what I recall, when I lived in Kent after dropping out of college and first went vegan. And, wen I lived in Austin the first time, especially with George working at the HEB down the street.

When I lived with Garth and Chris at 438 we boiled it down to a science. A weekly trip, generally Sunday around 4:00pm, We'd pile into Garth's car, head to Eastside Market, never venturing too far beyond the produce and health food sections, only really into the international food and condiment aisle, which was one aisle over. We'd buy certain staples, there were a handful of things that each of us would grab every week. Then we'd talk out meals, 'I'll make a stir-fry on Tuesday if you make a curry on Thursday,' and pick up the necessary ingredients. We'd usually each make one dinner a week, plus sushi on Sundays, and later, burritos on Fridays. We'd split up the haul at the cash register, and got pretty good at estimating the cost in thirds. Even if we were off a little, we would then head around the corner to Whole Foods, where we'd even it out by getting things that Eastside didn't have (organic mushrooms, vegan toaster waffles, grind your own peanut butter) and the few things that were cheaper (canned beans, frozen desert treats). Once a month or so we'd make a trip to the Asian market across the Route 195 bridge.

I did a pretty good job of shopping in Rome between the fresh produce market in Campo dei Fiori and the health food store a few blocks away. And especially once the Dimeglio supermarket opened up almost right downstairs in Piazza Cenci.

Back in Providence, above Pizza Pier, I started getting lazy. We didn't have a car for most of the year, so it was harder to get to the supermarket. I'm not entirely sure what I ate during that year, what with the whole not eating cheese and not liking tomatoes, it certainly wasn't all that much pizza. I wasn't eating at the Met. By the spring I had basically moved in with Stef. Then officially in June. We ate out a lot. Both in Providence and in Austin.

When I moved to Brooklyn there was a brief upturn in communal cooking for dinners, and I did contribute to the grocery fund, but didn't generally participate in the grocery shopping, beyond what I could pick up at the small health food store around the block. It's been a long time since I've gone to the market and picked up more than one or two meals worth of food. Initially, upon moving too Inwood, I made a lot of stir-fries, with as little effort as possible, a block of tofu and a bag of frozen stir-fry vegetables, over pasta. But recently have been eating a lot of vegan ravioli (from freezer to table in less than 10 minutes!) and instant noodle soup cups. I would stop at the Columbus Circle Whole Foods once or twice a week on my way home from work to pick these things up.

Even more recently, working from home has forced me to venture even further afield for a health food store, or to shop at the C-Town market two blocks away. For a neighbourhood market in a not particularly trendy neighbourhood they do have a surprising amount of organic / health food items, but they don't sell too many of the pre-made, lazy kitchen, healthy things. And I've lost a little bit of my ability, or at least interest, in planning out and executing a real meal. Last night I bought a can of chickpeas, a can of cut okra, and a can of black soybeans, and I fried them together into something of a mush and ate them over udon noodles with some cashews thrown in. It sounds more interesting than it is. Tonight I boiled and mashed two potatoes and half a head of cauliflower, and had a salad (from a bag, pre-mixed). Chris called while I was cooking, and upon my description of it he said, 'That's a real dinner.' Except that there's no main course. It's starchy and filling, and probably contains more fresh vegetables than I've had at home in weeks, but still feels half-assed.

Part of it is certainly that cooking for myself, and I know I'm not alone in this, is just no fun. I'm only going to end up eating in in front of (what passes for) the TV. I might pour myself a glass of wine or open a bottle of beer, but I'm not going to derive a whole lot of pleasure from the meal, regardless of the effort that I put into it, so as long as it's edible, fills me up, and has some amount of vitamins and protein, why bother?

Someday I will meet someone who makes me want to cook wonderful, beautiful, tasty meals and I will re-learn how to grocery shop and I will keep more than two meals worth of food in my fridge and I will use more than just one pot to cook everything that I eat.