magicbeans. nothing if not awkward.

In spite of the fact that I didn't get to bed until around 6:00AM, I was bolt awake at 9:30, surprisingly un-hungover given the fact that yesterday's drink count made it into the double digits. I managed something vaguely resembling sleep for another few hours, and then spent the remainder of the daylit part of the day in my underwear, moving between my rooms but staying mostly out of the kitchen. I was certainly dehydrated, my lips were sandpaper dry, dry from the inside and beginning to crack, but I didn't drink any water.

Chris called around 2:00, on his lunch break, and we talked for a while. I related to him the events of last night that transpired after he left. He thought her last text was mean. But then emailed me to say that I shouldn't think badly of her if I didn't want to. That people, when pushed, do and say things that sound meaner than they really are. I called Julia later in the afternoon. There was something she had said to Chris a few weeks ago that I had heard second-hand but not discussed with her. Something I was still curious about. But just got voicemail.

At 5:00, as the sun was going down, I took a shower, got dressed. I called Chris back. Said that I was thinking about leaving my house. He's missed a number of brunches because he's been upset, but I tend to have the opposite reaction. There is certainly a part of me that wants to wallow, but I know that I will feel better as soon as I step out the front door and take a breath of the outside air. And Chris really is a good friend (probably better than I am), happy to grab dinner and see a movie, no questions asked. Well, yes, questions asked, but 'What would you say..?' or 'How do you think..?' questions, not 'Why should I..?'.

We saw The Science of Sleep, which I am glad I caught while it was still playing. 'So, what did you think of it?', Chris asked when it was over.

'I really liked it.'

'I thought it was depressing. But I guess that means it was successful. And appropriate.'

'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind was depressing too.' And it was depressing, and it's hard to see something like that and not draw all sorts of parallels to your own life, and I had a long train ride home to be all introspective. But I did really like the film.