Untitled.
23 September 1998
![[ ]](http://mbpix.mushroom.net/19980923y.png)
happy fall. on the way home from work tonight the moon was a wonderful crescent in the darkening blue sky that faded to orange at the horizon. it's gone now, but the stars are nice, if cold.
i've been procrastinating big time at work. i don't know how i think that i'll ever be a good student. but i guess somehow i've managed to do pretty well in what i have done post umass. i'm still waiting for some kind of awakening. all of a sudden, motivation, full-force. and the fact that i'm waiting for this, that i'm procrastinating taking action on behalf of my own life, just makes me feel stupid. i think that's one of the reasons i like dreaming so much. no due dates, no deadlines. of course lately i've been waking up in the middle of the night out of dreams in which i'm repeating similar steps over and over and over again and never getting anywhere. they usually involve a bit of perl programming, a bit of work, and a bit of whatever i was watching on tv the night before. and when i do wake up, i feel so relieved that i'm now in the real world and not stuck in the dream.
and speaking of tv. that's another thing to feel stupid about. it's the new tv season and all that, and it's sucking me in again. it's just that it's so much easier than most of the alternatives. there are a million books that i'd like to be reading, but reading is so hard for me.
this has turned kinda down-beat. and i started talking about the wonderful fall crescent moon, and beautiful stars and all of that. so i'm gonna go to bed with that image. navy blue sky, the first stars starting to peek through. a thin sliver of a crescent moon above a band of orange at the horizon. green rolling hills, bits of yellow and orange beginning to show in the trees. good night. have wonderful dreams.
i've been procrastinating big time at work. i don't know how i think that i'll ever be a good student. but i guess somehow i've managed to do pretty well in what i have done post umass. i'm still waiting for some kind of awakening. all of a sudden, motivation, full-force. and the fact that i'm waiting for this, that i'm procrastinating taking action on behalf of my own life, just makes me feel stupid. i think that's one of the reasons i like dreaming so much. no due dates, no deadlines. of course lately i've been waking up in the middle of the night out of dreams in which i'm repeating similar steps over and over and over again and never getting anywhere. they usually involve a bit of perl programming, a bit of work, and a bit of whatever i was watching on tv the night before. and when i do wake up, i feel so relieved that i'm now in the real world and not stuck in the dream.
and speaking of tv. that's another thing to feel stupid about. it's the new tv season and all that, and it's sucking me in again. it's just that it's so much easier than most of the alternatives. there are a million books that i'd like to be reading, but reading is so hard for me.
this has turned kinda down-beat. and i started talking about the wonderful fall crescent moon, and beautiful stars and all of that. so i'm gonna go to bed with that image. navy blue sky, the first stars starting to peek through. a thin sliver of a crescent moon above a band of orange at the horizon. green rolling hills, bits of yellow and orange beginning to show in the trees. good night. have wonderful dreams.