Untitled.
25 April 1999
![[ ]](http://mbpix.mushroom.net/19990425y.png)
woke up this morning with dreams swirling through my head, but i couldn't seem to make a coherent narrative out of them, and so didn't write them down, and now they've faded away in that way that dreams are wont to do.
as the day went on, it was progressing towards a very typical empty sunday. i was feeling lonely and nostalgic, and as i often do on these sorts of days, i began looking through old journals, old email, old letters, and doing internet searches for friends who for one reason or another i've lost touch with. i occasionally come across a mention here or there; doug (and a number of other nmh alumns) acted in a student movie made at macalaster, bethany was on a list of people confirmed to attend reunion weekend at nmh this year.
i also came across the web site of a student at smith, who also went to nmh, and is good friends with allison. she has a couple recent photos of allison online. seeing her for the first time in three years (even if only in a photo) dredged up a lot of old stuff. made my world seem utterly without magic. and the more i thought along those lines, i realized that there is no magic for me here in texas. it's in new england, and maybe some in china, and places i've yet to experience, but not here.
it also lead me to the conclusion that er!n was probably right when she said that she was no faerie princess. as much as i wished her to be. but, the idea that allison could have ever been so also seemed to be slipping further and further from the realm of truth. and i begin to wonder if perhaps it's some spark of magic that i've lost inside myself.
as the day went on, it was progressing towards a very typical empty sunday. i was feeling lonely and nostalgic, and as i often do on these sorts of days, i began looking through old journals, old email, old letters, and doing internet searches for friends who for one reason or another i've lost touch with. i occasionally come across a mention here or there; doug (and a number of other nmh alumns) acted in a student movie made at macalaster, bethany was on a list of people confirmed to attend reunion weekend at nmh this year.
i also came across the web site of a student at smith, who also went to nmh, and is good friends with allison. she has a couple recent photos of allison online. seeing her for the first time in three years (even if only in a photo) dredged up a lot of old stuff. made my world seem utterly without magic. and the more i thought along those lines, i realized that there is no magic for me here in texas. it's in new england, and maybe some in china, and places i've yet to experience, but not here.
it also lead me to the conclusion that er!n was probably right when she said that she was no faerie princess. as much as i wished her to be. but, the idea that allison could have ever been so also seemed to be slipping further and further from the realm of truth. and i begin to wonder if perhaps it's some spark of magic that i've lost inside myself.