Untitled.
12 June 1999
![[ ]](http://mbpix.mushroom.net/19990612y.png)
i dreamt that i was moving into an apartment that was downstairs in my old grade school with a friend's aunt's boyfriend or something. we may have been having a house-warming party, as there were all kinds of people around. a bunch of different guys were hitting on my girlfriend, but she brushed them off.
the next morning i was outside changing the tires on the car. i only got three done, but we had to leave in a hurry. we stopped by this odd store that only sold mushrooms and all kinds of tea. daniel's girlfriend suzy was working there, and i asked if i could use the back room to pretend to change the fourth tire on the car.
later i was in a wheelchair. my girlfriend was walking beside me along a shady street. we were talking about our trip to paris. i looked up at white birch trees against the sky and was very content.
but just then, this biker gang showed up. one of them was in a wheelchair as well. he challenged me to a race. if i won, they'd give me a car stereo and $500. if i lost they'd kill me. so we raced, and i won. the bike handed me a wad of bills and a box with the stereo in it.
while we had been racing, the other bikers had kidnapped my girlfriend. her parents were rich and the bikers wanted a big ransom. i was understandably upset by all this, and the rest of the dream was a bit of an emotional fog.
i sat around today while everyone else came and went and was generally doing stuff. i've wanted to call er!n the last few days, but haven't been able to. it's more than my usual fear of phones. i think that on one hand i'm afraid that spending time with her is going to lead to the inevitable conclusion that our relationship will never be as serious as i'd like it to be. and on the other hand i'm afraid that spending time with her will show our relationship to already be more serious than i want it to be. which all boils down to the fact that i really don't know what it is i want. and i think that's what scares me.
the next morning i was outside changing the tires on the car. i only got three done, but we had to leave in a hurry. we stopped by this odd store that only sold mushrooms and all kinds of tea. daniel's girlfriend suzy was working there, and i asked if i could use the back room to pretend to change the fourth tire on the car.
later i was in a wheelchair. my girlfriend was walking beside me along a shady street. we were talking about our trip to paris. i looked up at white birch trees against the sky and was very content.
but just then, this biker gang showed up. one of them was in a wheelchair as well. he challenged me to a race. if i won, they'd give me a car stereo and $500. if i lost they'd kill me. so we raced, and i won. the bike handed me a wad of bills and a box with the stereo in it.
while we had been racing, the other bikers had kidnapped my girlfriend. her parents were rich and the bikers wanted a big ransom. i was understandably upset by all this, and the rest of the dream was a bit of an emotional fog.
i sat around today while everyone else came and went and was generally doing stuff. i've wanted to call er!n the last few days, but haven't been able to. it's more than my usual fear of phones. i think that on one hand i'm afraid that spending time with her is going to lead to the inevitable conclusion that our relationship will never be as serious as i'd like it to be. and on the other hand i'm afraid that spending time with her will show our relationship to already be more serious than i want it to be. which all boils down to the fact that i really don't know what it is i want. and i think that's what scares me.