magicbeans. nothing if not awkward.

we went and took another look at the flat with the small kitchen today. in discussing it afterwards it seemed as if it was likely we'd take it. later chris starting bringing up all the various shortcomings (mostly in relation to size vs. price). such as the lack of any real dining room, the slanted ceiling above the shower, etc. and really, it was even a little smaller for me the second time around.

so i guess it's still a little up in the air. the only nicer places that aren't really far away, are also a bit more expensive. i don't really want to live much farther from the beb than i'm living now. and i don't really want to live a million miles away from campus either, because then my life really will become nothing but the beb and home.

talked with chris and jen at dinner about high school popularity. jen claimed that she had no friends in high school. we weren't so sure about the validity of that statement. i guess it's likely true though. even if she's more out-going and popular now, it's the loser inside that i was attracted to.

finally got ahold of george tonight. i don't think that i've talked to him since new year's eve. one or two short emails in january. and so we talked for a couple hours. about all kinds of things. it was nice.

although he told me something that really freaked me out. he mentioned an overgrown merry-go-round, in the middle of a field. i conjured a mental image, tall green grass, blue sky, cotton clouds, basically one of my "happy place" sorts of images, except that there was something terribly dark about it. sinister. malevolent. i got goose bumps. shivers. all the hair on my body stood on end. i was shaking, sweating. i was totally freaked out by this image. and this fear fed itself, and snowballed. shadows. mirrors. it was really strange, and scary. and i can't totally say why.

i was afraid it would stay with me all night, but thankfully it faded a bit.

late night, went to see mission to mars with alex.h, zanetta, kris, and lauren. it was bad. cheesy, clichéd, terrible dialogue. it seemed that the actors, a number of award winners among them, were trying to do their best with what they had, but it didn't help. the score was terrible. the directing seemed novel at first, but just got old. zanetta felt that it was the worst movie that she's ever seen. i wouldn't be quite that harsh, but i would recommend against spending $8+ dollars on it. if yr truly interested, wait a couple months and it should be turning up in the cheap, second-run theatres.