magicbeans. nothing if not awkward.

last night i left studio a little after midnight. i stopped into the cad lab with the idea of working on my motel project for an hour or two, and then going home and getting a reasonable night's sleep. but there weren't any free computers. so i came home really early.

i told myself that i would get up an hour earlier than usual, and so be at studio an hour early, and get an extra hour of work done in the morning. i knew this was unlikely, but i almost had myself believing it.

my alarm went off. i set it for half an hour later. it went off again. another half hour.

got to studio the same time that i always do. don't know how i remain so gullible about these sorts of things. you'd think i'd know better by now.

but, as far as changing old habits, dan says he sees a real change in the way i've been working, is pleased with my progress, and thinks i have a very nice project. which is all good to hear. i'm not about to jump to the conclusion that i'm cured, that it's all going to be much easier from here on out, but it is a step. and it's a step in a direction that i am going to have to go in if i'm going to survive in the self-motivated studios in rome next year.

i think i'm going to get there. every day i'm a little bit more surprised by just how much i love this whole architecture thing. i wonder if i could actually be as happy doing anything else, film or sculpture or theatre or something. and i don't think so. which i still find very strange, to think that i've found my thing. and kind of accidentally at that.

i got into this with an eye towards virtual architecture. with no real inclination to actually build anything. i'm still interested in virtual architecture, but it's from more of an academic perspective. like: wow, that would be neat. but i don't want to dedicate my own efforts to it. i do want to make buildings.