magicbeans. nothing if not awkward.

dreamt that i was taking some sort of inter-session architecture studio (summer or winter) on a boat. there had been a bunch of painting majors there before us, and some were still around, hanging off the masts and acting like pirates such.

somewhere along the way the boat transmogrified from the fairly large sailing ship that i had boarded into some sort of palatial, nineteenth century, country estate, but still in a boat on the sea. one of the rooms, set up as a studio, was reminiscent of the new york city public library reading room, but it was empty of people except for aaron.m from landscape architecture. everyone else was at dinner or something.

along one end of the room was a mezzanine with stairs at one end and a door at the other. something compelled me to investigate. once on the mezzanine it seemed as if it were floored with cork tiles and no real structure and that it could give out at any moment. and although it was only eight feet or so off the ground i knew that i would get seriously hurt if i fell. but i edged on.

i reached the door at the other end and peeked inside. i was struck that this was someone's personal space, where the captain lived with his family. i could only see a small foyer, but was filled with images of suburban domesticity circa the mid seventies. i felt that just by looking i was intruding.

i don't know how i got down from the mezzanine. but i left the large studio room and entered a long hall, decorated like a luxurious hotel, but homier. i chose i door across the hall and found myself in a small, private garden. it seemed to be out of doors, but there was no sense of sky and i knew that i was still somewhere on the ship. i sat down on a marble bench.

i felt a hand brush through my hair. it was pleasant. i tilted my head back to see who was there and character of things changed. there was a marble statue (that had touched me?) and the touch now felt sinister, like i had been brushed by the fingers of a succubus or something equally as malicious.

then things pixelated, briefly, as if there had been a computer glitch. vines on the statue became two-dimensional blocks of green and then were vines again. but this fraction of a second broke some sort of spell and gave me a chance to escape.

---

got email from stef this morning. and saw a side of her that i've never seen before. sad, lonely, striving for contact. it scared me because i know what those feelings are like and in the past have lead me to paint unrealistic expectations on other people. but it also gave me a little more insight into her feelings, and helped me to understand her a little better. (this is what i mean when i talk about getting to know people not simply through asking questions, but through observation, through just spending time with them.)

also got email from sonali. she's flying into boston tomorrow for her five year high school reunion and has a couple of days of free time so offered to come visit. haven't been able to get back in touch with her, but it would be nice to see her. it's been over a year.

dinner at my old place. i'm still eating there. and then we watched fear and loathing in los vegas. entertaining, at least.

after dinner the building fire alarm started going off. very loud. we assessed that there wasn't really a fire, but there wasn't anything we could do about the alarm except sit across the street and wait. i could have gone home, but had just put a load of laundry in the washing machine.

supposedly the alarm is hooked up to the fire department, but no one came. eventually garth called 911 or something and a cop came by. he said that even the fire department couldn't turn it off, only the landlord. so garth called louis, but it would be about an hour before he could get there.

we met one of the new neighbors, a girl named arla in textiles (the whole building is going to be risd students this next year). "bean thought she was cute," garth said later. "she is yr type, isn't she?" and i don't know how garth has managed to peg down my type, but yeah, i did think she was cute.