magicbeans. nothing if not awkward.

dreamt that i was cheating on my pushups and situps. and then packing all sorts of food and stuff for alex.s in a rush before check-out time.

this was alex.s's second time in new york, and the first time was all work. so now with a free day, there were two things he wanted to see: grand central station and central park. we took the subway up to grand central. it really is quite nice since they fixed it all up. and then walked the rest of the way up to central park. walked in the park for a while, sat and talked about rome. he spent a semester there a few years back.

then we took the subway back downtown looking for something to eat. thai maybe. but no luck. back to the hotel, alex.s picked up his bags and caught a cab to the airport. "it was nice seeing you," he said.

"yeah," i said, "try to keep in touch this time." and i really hope we do.

i took the subway back to grand central, got some not too great indian food in their food court, and boarded the metronorth train for bridgeport. at the bridgeport station i called george and he came to pick me up. i got to see his new place. it's nice, and the neighborhood is nice, even if it is in bridgeport. then he and emily.f drove me back to providence.

we were going to stop in new haven for dinner, and i probably could have called er!n before we left and met her there if she was still around, but i didn't think of it, and we missed the downtown exit anyway. eventually we stopped at a supermarket and picked up some random food to eat in the car.

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i fell asleep early, the weekend tired me out. stef called around midnight and woke me up. she still had to work later and was just going to go home afterwards bcause she had to work in the morning too. i was bitchy. and regretted it as soon as i got off the phone. i called her appartment, knowing that no one was there and i could leave a message on the machine. something like: "hi. i'm sorry for being bitchy, but you know that. i just wanted to call to say i love you and to say goodnight."

much later, when she got home, she called again. she was crying. "i had to listen to yr message over and over when i got home. it was so sweet. you didn't even say who it was or 'this is for stef'. when there are people around i feel okay but then when i go home to my empty bed i want to be with you so much, just to curl up and be next to you."

we talked for a few hours. probably our longest phone conversation ever.