magicbeans. nothing if not awkward.

okay, so here's why i don't make plans. (that's not true, this is really just a story about how plans can go awry, but that's a catchy opening sentence, and often i do have a hard time making real plans.)

i put my vw back on my auto insurance this morning. i was going to pick up the insurance card at some point later in the day, maybe on the way out to dinner, and then stop at motor vehicles tomorrow morning on my way back to providence to register the car. stef called early afternoon. 'so you're not coming back tonight? i was hoping to spend a little quality time with you before getting all hot and sweaty moving stuff tomorrow.' (i'm going to be helping her move, again.)

so i started thinking about driving down to danbury this afternoon to get the car registered there. (the closest dmv office, in winsted, is only open tuesday, thursday, and saturday.) it's an hour drive either way, plus canaan and back for the insurance card, which is in the completely opposite direction. and then the three-plus hours to providence. but i really wasn't doing anything here, so why not?

i picked up the insurance card. headed south. in brookfield, where route 7 turns into a highway for a couple of miles, i see a police car with lights flashing behind me. i had gunned the engine entering the highway in order to pass the cars in front of me. the dmv office closes at 4.30 and it was almost four. just great. i tried to slow down, pull into the slow lane, and over to the right, but the cars in that lane won't let me in. the cop hits his siren, motions me to pull over to the left. i pull off the road and he zooms past me.

turns out there was an accident at the 84 split (four or five cars involved, but it looked like only minor damage, and no one was hurt from what i could tell), which only served to slow things down even further. but i got to the dmv office on time.

stood in line. got the forms i needed. got a number. filled out the forms and sat down. they were on 798, my number was 820. it was 4.15, but i figured that they probably would continue to help anyone who had a number before 4.30.

while sitting and waiting i noticed a sign on the door that read, 'credit cards not accepted'. i didn't have any checks, and no cash except the ten euro bill that i've been carrying around since i left italy. there was a quick-e-mart across the street though, and they might have an atm machine.

so i ran across the street. withdrew some cash. ran back. the front door had been locked. the side door had been locked. a security guard was standing by the door. i showed him my number. he just shook his head. i pointed to my watch, 'i still have five minutes.' he pointed to his. i argued with him for a good fifteen minutes, asked to speak to a supervisor, but it didn't do me any good.

and i sort of understand. i was one of five or six people who wanted to squeak in. of course i had been inside. i had a number. i had my forms ready. i only left because they want take credit cards. which is just plain stupid. everyone takes credit cards. i hardly ever use anything but plastic. it's the way our economy is going. at the very least they could have an atm machine inside the building.

so i was really upset. i had made plans. i had changed them to see stef sooner. and then was forced by matters beyond my control to change them back. i called stef. 'so i won't be coming tonight.'

the fact that she didn't sound terribly disappointed didn't help much. 'don't worry about it on my account,' she said. and i know she meant well by that, that it's an extra twelve hours, that we'll see each other soon. but it's hard not to hear the rest of it in my head, 'i'll be working late anyway.' (which is probably part of what she was thinking.) and then, 'and after work i'll hang out and have a few drinks with the guy that i cheated on you with.' (and i'm sure she wasn't thinking that part, but it's in my head.)