magicbeans. nothing if not awkward.

the other day i told chris.k that one of the things i've learned from all this is that i wouldn't want to date anyone who was too much like me. last night laura told me about a story she heard on npr that said even the most happily married couples will have a list of about ten irreconcilable differences.

stef asked me a number of times why i was so in love with her. why i would want to stay with her. she said she couldn't understand.

one reason: she challenges me. which is not always a good thing. and sometimes it is nicer if things are just, well, easy. but the plus side of it all, the reason that it is a reason to want to be with her, is that she pushes me, she gives me a motivation to try to overcome some of my social difficulties (among other things). which doesn't sound convincing at all. i know.

i run through all these things in my head until it seems i would know them inside and out, but when i try to put them into words i come up incredibly short. maybe words just aren't the right medium. love is more like leaves.