magicbeans. nothing if not awkward.

so for the second night in a week i've stayed up way too late. as in, it's nine in the morning and i haven't slept. this was supposed to be the smoother of the server moves, the move back. but around one-thirty, two maybe, after moving the files, nothing worked. and i stayed up all night trying everything i could think of to fix it. which was frustrating, but enjoyable, while in the moment. now, after it's pretty much all over, and i've been washed up on the other side, i'm feeling all those post all-nighter sorts of physical things (the queasiness, the bleary, aching eyes, the exhausted restlessness) along with all the emotional baggage that i've been carrying. for an all around bad.

when something reminds me of her, or of a story that involves her, and i tell someone, i still want to call her my girlfriend. it gets all tripped up on my tongue.