magicbeans. nothing if not awkward.

so lately i've actually been able to stay in bed a bit later in the morning. i stayed in new york last night. when er!n got up to go to work she said she'd be back later and left me a key to the building so i could get back in after moving my car.

when i did get up, around nine, i spent the next couple of hours feeling completely agoraphobic. i was terrified of leaving the apartment. of the world outside. when i finally had to leave, to move my car for street cleaning, i checked to make sure i had the building key, i checked to make sure the apartment door was unlocked, i checked to make sure i had my keys and my wallet and my phone, just in case i got locked out. i checked to make sure i had quarters for a parking meeter. i checked again. once i stepped out into the hallway though, the fears just sort of melted away.

i moved my car. i actually found a closer spot, where i could park for another twenty-four hours if i needed to, without having to use any of the quarters in my pocket. i picked up bagels. then headed back inside.

spent the day reading, watching tv. what i'd be doing in sharon, in providence. with the agoraphobia creeping back.

er!n got home around six. she wasn't feeling well. i went to pick up some take-out. she went to bed early.