magicbeans. nothing if not awkward.

er!n and geroge both called today to tell me that they thought 'it's really over for good this time.' i've heard it from both of them before, but somehow it seems like this might be different. the synchronicity of hearing it from both of them on the same day, for one. they both worked up to saying it, after a few minutes of unrelated conversation.

and then there's me. after a month of no contact at all. me, who's probably the most over of the three of us. i'm still holding on. she checked my site again last night. out loud, where she'll never hear it, i said, almost pleaded, 'just call me.' but of course she won't. and i can't give in to my impulses to try and contact her. even in some small subtle way. it's not really letting go when it requires a constant concerted effort. but anyway.