magicbeans. nothing if not awkward.

one year ago, august 27th 2001, i was upset at stef for taking off to new york on a whim and leaving me in providence, a mere two weeks before i was leaving for rome for eight months. i stomped around and listened to depressing music. and then something in me clicked. some little switch, and i realized this is just the beginning of something. we had both talked somewhat abstractedly about the future, but it was there, ahead of us, and given the provisional nature of the summer it wasn't worth getting upset over this.

i put on karate's unsolved. i started a mix-tape with the last track, 'this day next year'. this day next year is today.

i stayed up late to finish the tape. in the morning i made an insert (at kinko's or at work in the library, i can't recall) with a cute photo of the two of us that i had taken earlier in the summer and just recently gotten developed, and a typewriter title 'this day next year, a tape for stef'.

in the evening when she got back to providence i gave her the tape. i've quoted the song at least once before, but basically it goes: '... / so like the transportation of the sun / you must hold steady to the one / who lights your mornings, nights, afternoons / and if you should grow angry with the pace of chance / don't be afraid to make some plans / ... / today you missed her getting up once again / boy you've got to listen to me / promise her you'll rise this day next year / from this very bed / from this very bed.'

tomorrow. i promised her.