magicbeans. nothing if not awkward.

last night in studio after almost everyone else had left, frustrated with my project and not wanting to work anymore, i called stef. she pushed me to work on my model, or do a big drawing on nice paper. i fought her ideas. but when we hung up i pulled out a sheet of paper and began to draw. an hour and a half later i called her again. 'thanks professor stephany. i'm doing a big drawing. i still don't think it's really a useful drawing. but i feel better.'

'just because you're doing something. and i'm sure it will be useful, your drawings are so nice, but people just won't take them seriously on yellow trace.' and, 'i love you so much.'

and so i was up past four for the second night in a row. and up early to get to my crit at nine.

i ended up presenting last though, i spent the whole morning just short of breaking down completely. the crit itself wasn't bad. not good certainly, i prefaced the whole thing by pointing out that i had been struggling, but it helped me focus on what i should spend the next few weeks working on.