magicbeans. nothing if not awkward.

it was a quiet day in the office. fighting with the printers. archiving old projects to cd.

after work i headed out to dave.z's where he and chris were hanging out. we talked mix tapes. wandered around park slope. chris and i ate indian food.

i don't know if chris is just humouring me when i talk about stef or if he really thinks things have a chance of working out. 'what if she asked you to come back to texas?' he posed.

'i'd tell her i can't.'

'really?' he seemed a little surprised.

'i've got stuff going on here for a least a while.'

'would you tell her to move here?'

'that's a possibility, for her to find someone to take over our lease in austin and move to new york. or, figure out a way to afford airfare so that every other weekend or so we could spend a few days together. i'd fly there, two weeks later she'd fly up here.'

'that's actually a good idea. i was worried that if she called and told you she fucked up and wanted you to come back you'd just say "sure." and then get on a plane and be gone.'

'i'd want to. but i've got to do this. for my own sake.'