magicbeans. nothing if not awkward.

i stayed up late last night creating a profile on okcupid. it's a free dating/matching site with a somewhat irreverent bent, that was only launched a few months ago, but is apparently already huge. it will match you with people locally and around the world. most of my world matches seem to be 18-20 year old scandinavian girls.

i haven't actually contacted anyone (and i'm not sure i will, unless someone really stands out), but i did receive a message from a girl who was one of my early matches (the more questions you answer, the more it refines your results, and she's since slipped back to a 79% match) who runs an 'alternaporn' website. she wrote to tell me that although people don't believe her, she is shy too. we exchanged a couple of messages.

i also changed the 'interested in meeting people for' field of my friendster profile to include 'dating'. and started browsing other friendster profiles for single women in new york. and there's a lot of them. and a lot of them are cute. and seem cool. but i'm just as introverted about approaching strangers online as i am in real life. of course the original idea behind friendster was to meet and date friends of friends, people who you had some sort of connection to. and most of these women are friends with someone who knows someone else who knows someone i went to school with. or something. the connections can be very interesting, but tenuous at best.

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i saw a photo online of new york in the spring and there was green on the trees. my breath caught and i wanted to cry. it was so foreign as to almost seem fake. and the fakeness of it broke my heart.