magicbeans. nothing if not awkward.

e: I really cant go im at the nyu library 20 pages behind in my 20 page paper i havent been feeling well so im so far behind and i don't know when i will c u again

Er!n and I were supposed to go to a lecture tonight. Part of a series at Cooper about the correspondence between architecture and music. Could that be more up my alley? Tonight was Philip Glass and Thom Mayne.

I had called from work to find out where to meet her, she was going to get me a student ticket with one of her friends' IDs. I got her voicemail. Got on the subway.

On 14th Street the trees had taken the opportunity of today's beautiful weather to bloom. Then my phone's buzzing and I've got a text message. She's not going.

I learned with Stef that it doesn't accomplish anything to be upset at someone who you wanted to spend time with because you didn't get to spend time with them. So I tried to let that part of it go. And I understand the need to take care of your own life. But I was, and still am, upset about missing the lecture. I was really interested.

e: But i love you

e: Please try to understand about tonite

I was walking down to 4th, smoking a cigarette. I had decided to get dinner instead. In Washington Square Park a man asks for a smoke. 'I'll pay you fifty cents,' he tells me.

'Don't worry about it,' I say, handing him the cig and a matchbook. He lights up, hands the matches back.

'Thanks. I'll remember this. I'll give you a deal on good weed. Just find me here. It's really good stuff.'

At dinner a punk rock mom and her eight year old son sit at the table next to me.