magicbeans. nothing if not awkward.

I don't know if I'm too well put together to fuck stuff up or just too lazy. Whatever the case, I've got to go into PDG tomorrow morning and try to come to some sort of resolution because I'm driving myself crazy doing nothing. If they can commit to offering me a couple days of work a week (or more) that's great. If they can't, I really need to accept that and get it together and move on to other things. I have been looking kind of half-heartedly, but not really. Today was basically just a big ball of on-edge self loathing followed by a few hours of TV escapism and a nasty headache.

I did get a nice encouraging email from my mom. I know that there are plenty of people out there that believe in me. I'm just at a low point of believing in myself right now.