magicbeans. nothing if not awkward.

Rationalizing staying in bed is so easy when you're half asleep and dreaming. Dreams offer the same sort of escapism that TV does, but do it even better because they stroke your ego by being all about you. Even the sad ones. And the morning, between snooze on the alarm clock dreams change so fast that even if they are sad, part of you knows that you'll be on to something else soon.

The moral of the story? I rationalized myself out of getting out of bed before noon, and didn't go into PDG again today. I sat around and thought too much. Read the day's web comics. Agonized over email that I've yet to even set a single word down for, let alone send. Toyed with invitation ideas for my birthday party, which I still haven't even decided whether or not I'm holding, either the 19th or the 26th, but I'll let you know. Wrote the following:

So in addition to [ -------------------------------------------- ] I've also been thinking about Caitlin recently. It's been over a year and a half since our two-week, failed attempt at dating. And although we both contributed to that failure, probably by being too considerate of each other's space, and just because of bad timing, I do feel that in retrospect I was definitely the asshole, and feel that I should apologize for that.

And talked to Sam on the phone about work and glass and music, and he says he's coming to New York next week and promised to come visit.

Then into Manhattan after all, with Emily, whose mother had called the hotline for tickets to Tough Crowd with Collin Quinn and given them her name. She had four tickets for today's taping, but could only rustle up me to go with her. I was excited, not only did it get me out of the house (and entertained for an hour, for free) but PDG designed the Tough Crowd set, and I have a very tenuous connection to the head of production at Comedy Central (she's my mom's cousin's wife's sister).

From what I can recall, I think this is the first time that I've ever been in the studio audience for the taping of a TV show. It's a surreal experience. You feel like you're watching TV a lot of the time. Then you realize that you're not, you're actually there, on the other side of the screen, in person.

Among tonight's panel was Carrot Top, who I saw in Dayton four years ago on my mom's (and apparently his mom's as well) birthday, and Rich Voss, who was in my top three favourites from last summer's Last Comic Standing.

So after veggie Chinese food, it was home to watch the first episode of this summer's Last Comic Standing, which I thought about auditioning for the week that I moved to NYC, but like everything that passes me by, I wasn't motivated enough to come up with a stand-up routine. (Not that I'm even sure I'd be capable of writing/performing one.)