magicbeans. nothing if not awkward.

Today was one of those nothing Saturdays that make me feel totally socially inept. And it doesn't help that my roommates are all away and I have the house to myself. (Except for the unnamed cat, who I keep wanting to call 'Flora'.)

If the internet connection worked I could stay up late redesigning my website. Or, if I had any nerve at all I could pick up the phone and call around and see what people are up to. Which might still leave me with nothing, but would at least make me feel like I had tried.

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I started watching Fight Club, which Rob has a copy of. I drank the last beer left over from sushi night.

Eventually, feeling that I really needed to leave the house, I went out to smoke a cigarette. I walked past the new bar. Around the block. Over to Life, where I went in and sat at the bar.

The only people there were the kitchen staff, whose shift had just ended, and the bartender's girlfriend. They were watching some cheesy 80's movie with Nicholas Cage as the new wave kid from Hollywood High who falls for the popular girl from Beverly Hills.

I was only planning on having one drink, but got sucked in by the movie and kept drinking until it was over. The only other people who came in were a Mexican guy who had one Corona, and a middle-aged drunk who sat at the end of the bar and knocked back three rum and cokes within fifteen minutes.

Leaving, I lit up another cigarette and typed into my phone:

I'm at that level of fucked up where you and I would get into your car and because you're even more fucked up than me I'm supposed to drive. Maybe it's a good thing that we're not together.