magicbeans. nothing if not awkward.

It's another Saturday that feels like a Sunday. I've been working so much during the week lately, and been so worn out by it, that I don't really have the energy to do anything much on the weekends (if I ever did), and so mostly spend them catching up on TV shows and feeling sorry for myself. Stupid.

I need to get a fucking life.

So the first girl who I've really liked since I've been in New York is seeing someone. And yes, if it weren't for my insecurities, maybe she might have been seeing me. But none of that means that I shouldn't still be trying to cultivate a friendship with her. She's still very cool. We still have all sorts of things in common.

So I feel sort of bad that my other crush is kind of a backup crush because the aforementioned girl is unavailable. I still find her attractive. She still seems like a nice person. I still should just get over my self and my fears and ask her out already.

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Eventually, dinner with Rob at Candle 79. Expensive again. But still very good. It's so the sort of restaurant I would love to take a date to. Get all dressed up. Split a bottle of wine. Of course then I couldn't flirt with the waitress.

Rob didn't want to spend another $2 on the subway, so we walked back downtown, 65 blocks to 14th Street. We've had a few cold evenings already this fall, but it was a nice night for walking tonight.