magicbeans. nothing if not awkward.

we ate breakfast
i didn't speak of my dreams
she spread cream chese on a bagel

and after, introductions with the girl
who's occupied too many of my thoughts
for the last six months

"sonali...jen" and eye contact
trying to say that jen
without saying that jen

and you spoke to her
and i listed the jens i know
and wondered about attraction

and later still, full of nervous energy
of the sort that i feel when
i can't reconcile different pulls

and all that slows me
is searching for words
that always lay scattered, unreachable

---

"i don't want to go to sleep. because soon you'll leave and who knows when i'll see you again."

---

"or maybe it's good that i only see you once a year, because my emotions get all fucked up whenever yr around."