magicbeans. nothing if not awkward.

dreamt that i was taking a class in a jumbled, labyrinthine building, but i couldn't find the room that it was scheduled to be in, #250. i did find the library, a huge space with double or triple-height ceilings tucked away inside all these small, twisting passages. and something about a dining hall behind it. and eventually i found a map of the building and followed it to where the room #250 was supposed to be, but it wasn't. somewhere along the way i ran into judie.m, my 2d instructor from the summer transfer program, who may have been teaching the class but couldn't find the room either.

in another dream stef and i were on a campus that was an amalgam of risd and nmh, but magnified many times. huge rolling green hills and monumental buildings. we were headed to some sort of convocation in the chapel, which was more of a cathedral, and were running down a steep, grassy hill, in and around little sculpture parks that dotted the landscape, when stef stopped to talk to aimee, molly and jen.c's ra from sophomore year, who i don't believe she knows.

then back in the labyrinthine building i stumbled across something of a lobby and asked a woman behind an imposing desk about the room. there were a number of other kids milling about who apparently were having the same problem i was. i asked if i would be able to get a refund for the class, since the semester was two thirds over and i hadn't found it yet. she said that i couldn't get a refund on this class, but i could take another one for free. then she led all of us down a hall, and then a few floors down in a freight elevator. a few twists and turns back to the place that i had been looking for the class before, but it was tucked away behind another room that wasn't even close in number. and, it was also some sort of quick-e-mart and the people in the class who had found it were all eating non-vegan junk food.

another little snippet of a dream in which stef was moving into my old place, and her mother and sisters were helping her move stuff. i'm sure her mother wasn't really her mother, having never met or seen pictures of her. i have seen pictures of her sisters but they were both about five years older than they are now, although stef wasn't much older herself.

and a last bit in which a friend and i were visiting someone in a residential high rise building that risd owned on benefit street. but outside providence was much more gritty and industrial. a cloud of particularly toxic smoke was bellowing out of a nearby building and blowing towards us. i was glad the windows were closed, but worried some would get in anyway. the wind was very strong, and the building began swaying, and then circling wildly. we figured that we should try to get out of it in case it collapsed, but were scared that it might fall as we were leaving and crush us.

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this morning felt like a saturday. slept late and then lounged around with stef who didn't have to work at all today. but i did have to get to work eventually.

the library was quieter today. towards the middle of my shift stef came in and told me about the most recent email from her mom (they still haven't spoken beyond email) and how it upset her. later she forwarded a copy of it to me. and although there were certainly things in it that i could understand her being upset over, there was also quite a bit in it that i agreed with. and so i called and asked if she wanted to talk about it after i got out of work.

and so we sat on the steps in front of the mailroom and talked for an hour or so. it's the first time that she's really let me in as to what is happening with her family. i had heard bits and pieces, but we had never really discussed it. i really hope that my perspective was helpful.