magicbeans. nothing if not awkward.

From: Stousign@aol.com
Date: Sat, 27 Apr 2002 16:49:53 EDT
Subject: Re: stepping back again

I feel like its time to write to you because this is getting crazy. First , thank you for not emailing my sister, the only person that knows we broke up is my dad because hes the only Ive talked to in a month just because of busyness of life.

Second, remember the email that I sent you after we broke up and it said that breaking up with you was the last time I was ever going to hurt you, well bean your totally hurting yourself now and its sacry and Im worried, because i value you as a person and a friend you need to stop torturing yrself. I am not going to be there on Sat Im sorry I can't and I won't.

I have been having fleeting images in my head of you keying my car or showing up on my door step when you g et back. I dont' really want either of these things to happen, well please don't key my car its beat up enough already.

We need to separate, stop for a while because Im worried a bout next year and about you seing me in my life right now.

I am dating that guy I talked to you about, Im happy and every once in a while I catch myslf being happy and its not anything I think I have felt before, but at the same time I am open for the fact that things may change as we continue dating because things do,but its different for some reason. I recognizre that I didn't give myself enough time to help myself but he recognizes that to and is prepared for the worst of course, but I feel ok bean.

All of this (me writing and me telling you whats going on) came so late because I never wanted to have to do it period. I was done hurting you and I know this does hurt but you are probably hurting yourself more right now. I can't stand it, I don't want to be a mean person and don't want you to be in pain. Im sorry.

Please don't throw fruit at my house when you get back ok? and im sure things will be fine, I gave my friend Lindsey ( weird name match...) your web page address so she could email you because she was talking about the Luna concert today at work and I think I remember you saying you listen to them. Its May 10th.

This is it.

I'll see u when I bump into u in Providence, which Im sure I'll end up doing.

stef