magicbeans. nothing if not awkward.

typewritten:

i feel disoriented, out of place. i knew that the sensation of coming home would feel like waking up out of a dream, and it does, but it is as if i've woken up to find that my whole life has changed while i've been asleep. and like a baby bird returned to its nest by human hands, i feel like my life no longer recognizes me. i'm floating: no real home, no job, no school. and the one thread that was supposed to encapsulate the two ends of this year, that i was counting on to do so, is broken. and yes there are friends here, people that i've known for longer, that likely know me better, that certainly care more. but it's different. and in a way i feel like an interloper in their lives. i feel like i've forfeited my sense of belonging by going away.