magicbeans. nothing if not awkward.

so i've felt a little bit better the last two days. don't know if it's because i've been doing some sysadmin work, keeping my mind somewhat occupied (even if i have been sitting in front of the tv while doing it), or if the saint jonhn's wort that i've been taking is starting to take affect. or both. or other things.

e. all of the above.

not that i've been happy. woke up this morning with the clearest dream memories that i've had in a while. i was back in rome, but staying somewhere very architecturally different. sam and mom had come to visit at the end of the program instead of the middle, and i was leaving with them. i was packing very last minute, pushing right up against the time the we had to leave for the airport. i didn't want to leave, sam and i had been sitting in piazza mattei, by the turtle fountain (although there was a clear line of sight to piazza minerva and bernini's elephant) and were talking about going to see michelangelo's moses. but we didn't have time.

the waking up bit involved all the emotion of coming back from rome in may, of leaving again now, of the anticipation of going back to providence in september. the forgetting and remembering.