magicbeans. nothing if not awkward.

but by the time i had gotten into bed last night, this stuff about stef, the conversation with kc, only made me sad. and my bed's still so empty without her.

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went out for breakfast with chris and garth. it's actually been quite a while since the three of us had done anything together. almost two weeks, since the day i got back to providence. and before that, garth's birthday in july.

this afternoon was the first meeting of my fourth and final class. we met as a large group for the first half hour (stef across the table, we made eye contact once, she smiled with a little difficulty, i tried to smile back. amy smiled big and waved.) before splitting up into three groups of about twenty. stef is not in my section.

i spent the rest of the afternoon at home, copying a handful of cds that i had borrowed from chris. i've always been against burning copies of cds for two reasons. one, i like having the art. the photos or drawings, the graphic design that someone worked hard on to compliment the music, plus the rest of the info that comes with the packaging, lyrics, production info, thank yous, etc. and two, if it's on an indie label, which all of these are, i feel like you should be supporting the artist. (on major labels so little of the purchase price filters back to the artist that that's different.) but, and here's why i did it, i really am in awful financial shape right now. i haven't bought any new cds since june, and it's hard for me to keep on resisting that urge. maybe the infusion of a few new discs into my collection will help me suppress that for another little while, and funnel the small amount of money i do have to more important things, like rent, and credit card bills, and food.

earlier, after breakfast, we went to pick up the moving truck that chris is driving out to chicago. back at his place we ran into cybèle and she suggested that we do something, dinner or a party, for chris before he leaves. there is going to be a party at the mill tomorrow night so i said 'why don't we all go out and get dinner tonight?' later, when i called garth to ask as to the status of said dinner, he told me that chris hadn't seemed too enthused about it. i called chris and between packing and possible sexual frustration he said his night was pretty much spoken for, but we could hang out tomorrow.

so garth and i ended up going out for drinks. he's worried that he's becoming an alcoholic. he says he ends up drinking every night, whether he plans it or not. i'm not sure that he's really headed towards alcoholism, or if it's just a reaction to being done with school, something that will run its course and settle back down.