magicbeans. nothing if not awkward.

Standing in the shower, when I finally wrestled myself out of bed at close to two o'clock in the afternoon, I mumbled 'Rabbit, rabbit.' The significance of June 1st was not entirely lost on me, but while attempting to rub some life into my eyes I came away with an extrodinarily long eyelash on which I wished for happier things to come.

I'm scared. I haven't really admitted this out loud to anyone. I haven't worked in almost three weeks, and I'm giving in to this lack of momentum for fear of things not working out. Which in turn is making me depressed. And messing up my sleeping habits. Which adds to the sense of feeling out of place, and the desire to do nothing productive. Or at the very least the converse, the lack of desire to actually do something productive.

I did feel exhausted all day today. And light headed. And for the last few hours, my eyes have felt scratchy and irritated. So either my allergies/flu/whatever is contributing to my lack of motivation. Or my lack of motivation is contributing to my feeling sick.