magicbeans. nothing if not awkward.

Even though it's been a number of months since I officially began working from home, even though I have something of an "actual" home-office setup, even though I'm making at least as much, if not more, money that I have at any previous point in my life, I still mostly feel as if I don't really have a job. Even on days that I'm busy (today I worked from 10:00am to midnight) I can wander into the kitchen at any time and poke my head into the fridge as if it were a lazy sunday afternoon. There's never anything in the fridge, but that doesn't stop me. And, there's the fact that my computer is not only my primary apparatus of work, but also my home entertainment center—TV, stereo, &c—which renders my paints my home-office as living room too. As well as general storage mess. I don't think that it really helps matters that after a year and a half in the apartment I still haven't entirely moved in.

What am I getting at? Just that working from home is weird. Freelancing is weird to begin with, the 14 hour days, followed by the days of scraps, or no projects at all. But it's even further compounded when it all takes place under the same roof as the rest of your life. In a career-oriented sense, I have the closest thing to a "real job" that I've ever had, on an intellectual level I recognize this, and that makes the feeling of not really having a job that much more of a stark contrast.