magicbeans. nothing if not awkward.

After not going to his show the other night, I've been listening to a lot of Geoff Farina's music the past few days. Maybe in an effort to drum up enough motivation to go to the Easthampton show on Saturday, maybe just in a this is what I missed out on hearing live sort of gesture. In any case, making my way chronologically through Karate's discography this afternoon I got to "This Day Next Year" and started thinking about Stef and kind of made myself sad for no particularly good reason.

Depression is something that I've struggled with my whole life, but generally, I've been pretty happy for the last two years. It's one of the many ways in which New York has surprised me. This afternoon however, I grabbed a cigarette and went for a walk, a clear sign that something's amiss. I'm not sure that I've smoked while sober since that fist warm day in the park. And hardly any while drunk either. Mostly I just carry a pack of smokes around with me on the very off-chance that I'll want one, and so that other people can bum them off of me.

It was nice out, and I managed to settle my mind a bit. And then of course there was always some TV to turn it off.